Why I'm blogging again
The ironic thing about now being a published author is that I have not been doing very much writing for quite some time, and I miss it.
That is why I am back here. To just write.
It has been AGES since I've blogged on a regular basis. I do write and post things for AboutSuBeng.com and Metropolicks.com, but that is not really the same as keeping a personal blog.
I first started blogging in 2002 while living in Taiwan. And I still remember what a big deal it was deciding to set up a blog because it was basically going to be a very public online journal of my life in Taiwan. It really look a lot of courage* for me take that first step. I felt really exposed and vulnerable, knowing that my words and inner most thoughts were going to be published on the Internet where anyone could come across them. I kept my identity on that blog relatively anonymous; my full name was never revealed as the author of the blog, and I only shared my blog with friends and family.
To put things in perspective, this was in the days WAY before social media. In those days, when Blogger was all the rage, blogs were quite revealing, some were diary-like, others were a daily documentation of the blogger's life through words and/or photographs posted; basically blogs were windows into another person's world. Sound familiar? Having a blog was the closest thing to what social media today is. A blog was a place where you could share things about yourself, your life, your opinions, and anything at all. Back then, most people didn't blog. It is really incredible to see how much things have changed with the prevalence of social media today. Now people can share every little moment of their life with a press of a button.
Going back to those pre-social media days, my first blog really allowed me to put my words and in essence, a piece of myself out there publicly. It is something that I definitely needed to do as an aspiring author- to get comfortable with my fear, and to open myself up to the possibility of public scrutiny. At the time, I had just learned about something called the "inner critic," which I discovered had been holding me back from seeing myself as a creative person and pursuing my dream of one day writing a book.
Fear and the inner critic are still things that I contend with when I write or prepare to write. In fact, they came up after I decided to start writing a personal blog again, and in the midst of writing this blog post. I need to remind myself that I must write simply because I want to. I have to. And that while I have a standard that I'd like to adhere to when I write, sometimes I just need to write, despite the judgment and criticism of myself and of others.
I think that when I first started blogging in 2002, that's when my life as a writer and author began, so that's why I'm blogging again.
*As a side note I love the definition of the word courage that Brené Brown gave in her TED talk: The power of vulnerability: cour is the Latin word for heart, so the word courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.
